Moments Like This Series
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Short Story Series. Latest story- A Valentine's Day inspired Joey and Kelly one shot.
1. The Life He Found

Snapshot is the umbrella title for this series of short stories about OLTL characters. These stories were written for a prompt challenge at Soap Fan Fiction, link in my bio.

**The Life He Found**

"A snowstorm in Texas? You got to be kidding me!" Rex smacked his own self in the head, then mouthed "Ouch."

He was staring forlornly out the window of the Bon Jour Diner, which looked to be where he would be sleeping on Christmas Eve this year- unless the grouchy grease stained owner, Mo, kicked his ass out onto the curb. There was a motel across the street but the parking lot was jam packed with semi trucks and a neon sign flashed No Vacancy.

From behind him Gigi said, as she wiped down the counter, "You call that a snowstorm? We saw worst in October back in Detroit."

"Yeah," he spun around to face her again, flashing back in time as he did. For  
a moment he saw her at seventeen standing by her locker." But _back in Detroit _people still managed to function with one inch of snow on the ground. Here, your down home cowboys, run and hide under the covers, and ground their planes. The plane I need to get back home to my almost fiancee!" He sighed dramatically, hoping for sympathy, but Gigi only rolled her eyes.

Adrianna, if she was here, would have rushed to his side, rubbed his back, assured him all would work out well, whispered something hot in his ear, some promise of what they could do on a cold winter night in the Lonestar State, and Rex would have felt taken cared of. Somewhere in the back of his mind it nagged at him that as much as he liked the response he would have gotten out of the woman he loved, it would have felt forced, fake...like what she thought he wanted her to do. But Gigi wasn't about to play that sort of game. He remembered how she never put up with any crap from him when they were kids- no lying, no cheating, no keeping secrets- and how he hadn't felt like he had to hold back any part of who he was with her...she liked him, as is, not for the man she hoped he would turn into one day. She had been a hot, fun girlfriend- his first everything, including heartbreak- but more than that she had been one hell of a friend.

As she wiped down the counter, Gigi said "So you stay one more night then head home, you'll be there by Christmas dinner still, in time to give that girl of yours that ring you bought off me."

"Stay? Stay where? In the freezer here? Or that booth over there? I don't suppose this place has a bathtub I could crash in till morning?"

"Nope. Sorry. Maybe you could go home with Mo..."

"A Yankee on my couch?!" the cook, and sole proprietor, bellowed from the kitchen. "My mama would kick me out of the family. Y'all gonna have to come up with something else and quick. Cause we're closing in five minutes."  
"Oh, cool your jets," Gigi told him "I'm still refilling these here salt shakers and then I have the ketchups to get to."

"Then get to it, girly. You've been moving slow as molasses since your former sweetheart came moseying in here today. And don't think the customers didn't notice either."

"I'm the best waitress you got and you know it," she called back to him. "You better be nice to me or I might up and quit you for good."

"Oh, you ain't gonna go no where, Gigi," Mo grumbled under his breath.

Gigi shook her head at him as she kept working. Rex pulled out his cell and tried to call a cab. The dispatcher told him that none of the drivers would go out in this hazardous weather. Rex was saying "But...but...but.." when the person hung up "I need a ride!" he told the dail tone. Now he couldn't even sleep at the airport on the floor. "Great. Just freaking great. Well," he slowly turned and met Gigi's eyes again, this time seeing her as she looked the very first day they met, when she was smoking behind the school and he bummed one off her. "It looks like you are stuck with me tonight."

Her eyes widened with something that looked close to fear. It wasn't the response he expected. Back in the day, she would have snarked at him _Well, one night is all any woman could stand of you, Balsam._

And he would have shot back _And yet you're still here, Morasco._

Rex moved close to the counter, leaned on it until his face was inches in front of hers, and said "Just one night. One night, okay? For your old friend Rex?"

"You...you want to sleep at my place?"

"It's not like I know anyone else in Paris, Texas or Paris, France for that matter. I have a few friends in Llanview, and Adrianna, Roxy, my sister, Bo...and I have you. That's about it for my friends worldwide, unless you count MySpace, but I don't." He gave her a sad puppy dog face. He used the same exact expression when he talked her out of her bra for the first time. "Please...don't make me sleep in my car. It's cold out there."

"It's Texas."

"It's snowing."

"Its Texas snow, that hardly counts." Her mind was racing with all the reasons she couldn't let him go back to her place, the biggest being a ten year old version of the very man who stood before her who was there right now with his babysitter.

Mo came out of the kitchen. "You two figure out where this hobo is going for the night?"

"Hey!" Rex complained "I'm a P.I. on a case, not some vagrant."  
Mo countered, as he headed for the door, "You don't got no place to sleep, that's makes you homeless. Now if you want waffles or pancakes or grits, you come back in the morning, if you got any cash on you. Don't think I didn't see Gigi slip you that pecan pie earlier. But until 6 am the Bon Jour Diner is closed. Now, both of you, skeedadle." Mo held open the door, giving Gigi no choice but to grab her coat and head out.

Her mind was racing with what to tell Rex. She couldn't just abandon him on the side of the road and yet, if she took him back to her apartment, it could be a disaster. And the one that would get hurt most would be her little boy...their son.

XXXXXXXX

She slipped into the door cautiously. The house was quiet. Rex came in after her. "Nice place."

"It's a hole, and you know it."

"No worse than where Roxy tried raising me before Aunt Corinne took me in. And I survived."

_Survived,_ the word hit Gigi like hurricane, washing away all her pretenses. _Surviving_, she thought, _that is all I have been doing for the last decade. Raising Shane and surviving...not living. Sure as hell not loving. Surviving. I am a survivor. Goody for me._

Lonnie slipped out of the bedroom and made her way down the hall. Softly she whispered "He just fell asleep. We got his math homework done and he ate three pieces of broccoli."

"Three? You are a miracle worker. I've never managed more than two before he starts fake gagging." Gigi introduced the baby sitter to Rex, paid her, and then Lonnie left.

Gigi hurried to grab some blankets and a pillow to give to Rex so she could escape behind the closed door of her room, away from him and all the memories that were tormenting her mind ever since he walked into her job. She was lucky she didn't faint dead away at the sight of him, or punch his lights out right on the spot. He was damn lucky he got off with one little slap.

"So when is your flight out?" she asked him "Seven am? So you need to leave by five right? Shane and me, we'll still be asleep. That kid don't wake up till I shake him and yell that the bus is coming down the block so...it was good to see you."

"You too," he whispered.

A nostaglic look came over his face, one she had seen many times already today, and one that threatened to break her heart in two if she had to see it one more time. It was as if he missed them...her...what they had. And she couldn't let herself think that he did, not even for a second, because if she did...she'd lose it. She'd get lost in what if, and should haves, and probably blurt out the whole truth about the child they shared. That would only lead to pain because Rex couldn't stay here and be the father Shane always longed for or the friend Gigi missed like crazy every single day. His life was back in Pennsylvania with some chick named Adrianna...his Adrianna...his almost _fiancee. _

_Ah, hell and damnation_! Gigi silently spewed a long string of curse words at how bad her life sucked sometimes. When would she get a lucky break? When would some guy...her guy...her Rex...be desperate to get back to where she was, like he was over Adrianna right now? When? She was pretty sure the answer was never.

"Good night, Rex."

"Night."

Gigi headed down the hall but stopped when she heard Rex say "This is your son?" in a surprised tone.

She turned to see him looking at a picture of Shane, dressed in his little league outfit.

Rex said "This is the kid from the diner...I saw him earlier...you didn't say he was yours."

"I didn't? Sure I did."

His eyes remained on the photo, his voice was soft and thoughtful. "I thought your son was younger."

Nervously, she picked at her fingernail, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, forced her voice to sound light and asked "What would have made you think that?"

"I don't know..." Rex's voice faded off. His eyes were still stuck on the photo. "Cute kid. But he don't look a thing like you."

"He takes after his father."

Rex looked around the room, his eyes moving from photo to photo. "Oh yeah? Where is the guy anyway? I don't see even one shot of him anywhere."

"He died when Shane was a baby. He was in the Special Forces."

"Oh yeah? A real hero for Shane to look up to, huh?" His eyes narrowed in on hers.

"He can't really remember him but I tell him stories." For a moment, Gigi thought her story would work, like it had everytime before. Sure, Shane looked a little like Rex, but it wasn't like he was a replica or anything. All she had to do was fudge his birthday a little, a few months tops, and Rex would think she moved on from him quickly after he left Michigan, that Shane's father was someone else, anyone else.

One part of her heart was aching for Rex to know the truth but the other part was too scared to say it. Shane was hers, all hers, and had been since his first breath. Back then, she wanted to share him with Rex. She cried when she looked into her baby boy's eyes and knew that she couldn't turn to his father and say _Isn't he adorable?_ but in time she let go of her fantasties of Rex ever tracking them down, or Corinne ever giving her Rex's number. She moved on and made this new life in Texas. Maybe if there was no Adrianna, young and pretty, Gigi knew from the picture Rex showed her, at home waiting for him...maybe it would be different. Maybe then Gigi could give Shane what he longed for most, a flesh and blood father, but she wouldn't offer her child that just to have Rex leave them behind for the second time.

Rex broke into her thoughts when he asked "What was his name?"

"Who?"

"_Shane's father_. What was his name?"

"REX! What is this? An interrogation? I said you could sleep on my couch, not write a memoir about me. If you want to sleep, go to sleep. If you want to talk, I suggest you call Adrianna cause I am dead on my feet." She faked a yawn. "Mo runs me ragged, I swear. It's been great catching up with you but I'm beat and the subject of Shane's father...well, its just too hard to remember that time in my life, realizing I would have to raise that precious, perfect little boy all on my own. But I've done it. A damn good job, too. Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it till he is eighteen, going like this, working these minimum wage jobs and everything but ...I will. I will make it. Because I don't have a choice. Now, good night."

Gigi turned to leave but he hurried closer to her and gently grabbed her shoulder, then turned her around. "Not so fast."

Their eyes locked in on each other.

Rex asked, holding up the picture with one hand, "Is this my son?"


	2. part two, Rex and Gigi

Part Two

She felt her heart literally stop, for just one beat but it seemed longer. It seemed like another ten whole years passed between the moment Rex asked, as he waved a photo of Shane around, "Is this my son?"and when she jerked out of his grasp.

Gigi trembled. She bit her lip, desperate to tell him the truth and also to never tell him. Because it was way too freaking late in the game to do anything over. He had left Michigan to find his sister and get access to her great big fortune, Gigi almost lost her lunch when he told her that story earlier today.

He left to get rich! While she stayed in Detroit, confused, abandoned and knocked up. And yet she didn't hate him for it. For the longest time she was sure that is what she would feel when she looked in his eyes again, but it wasn't there. Instead she felt just like she did when he kissed her for the first time. She was sixteen, breathless and head over heels for a guy that was bound to break her heart. And he had...he broke her heart, her faith and her trust but not her spirit. She raised her boy alone and didn't waste time crying about what would never be. Shane was hers...Rex had his big dream life in Llanview with his sister and his mama and his pretty pretty princess rich girl, Adrianna.

When Gigi didn't answer him, Rex shrieked "HE IS MY SON! He is! Oh my god!"

"Shhhhhh, shut up, will ya? You will wake up Shane." Gigi hurried to his room to check on him. Rex followed. She looked in and saw that he was still sleeping, then pulled the door closed. As soon as she spun around, she ran smack dab into Rex's chest. "What are you doing? Back off."

"I want to see him."

Gigi looked up and into Rex's eyes, determined to hold her ground, but as soon as she saw the pain that resided there, she started to breath heavily, doing her best to not break down into tears. "Rex, please, lets go sit down..."

"You didn't say he's not mine."

Gigi forced out quickly. "He's not yours. I told you his daddy was..."

"G. I. Joe, yeah I know! Except he wasn't. That's a story you made up. I can always tell when you are lying and, Morasco, you are lying right now."

"You can always tell, hmpf," she grumbled then pushed past him. "I need a drink."

"You aren't the only one. This is insane. I have a son...a ten year old son..." Rex squeezed his eyes closed to stop the tears from streaming down his face at the thought of missing so many years. Once he regained his composure he left the hallway and wandered the few steps over to the eat in kitchen, where he found Gigi popping open a Coke. "Please tell me you have some Jack Daniels to pour in that."

"I don't keep alcohol in the house. Shane is already a handful and he pushes the limits, every time, everyday, on everything. I don't need the temptation around him for him to decide one little sip never hurt no one."

Rex smiled thinking that sounded a lot like Gigi when she was a teenager. "So when you said drink you meant..."

"Cola. My drug of choice."

She looked exhausted and terrified, which twisted Rex's heart around his gut. His mind was racing at the thought of what all this meant. A son...a little boy...only he wasn't so little and he thought his father was a superhero, not a dead broke joker who ditched his mother because he was stupid enough to think that woman like her grew on trees. Rex learned quick that Gigi was a one of a kind, but by the time he had his head together enough to call home and check on her, the number he had was disconnected. She must have already been in Texas by then, over him and raising their son on her own.

Rex sunk into the nearest chair. It was then he realized he was still clutching the picture of Shane. He slowly pried his fingers off the frame.

Gigi said, softly, "He's not yours."

"He is mine. Just stop, okay? Stop telling me I don't see what I see in this photo."

"You saw him face to face today and didn't think a thing about it. You're imagining what you want to see there. Probably because you are about to ask that girlfriend of yours to get hitched and that has you so freaked out that you are thinking about all the choices in your life and where they led you and you're wishing you had more to show for yourself. Well, Shane is a great little boy but he is not your great little boy, Rex."

He looked into her eyes. "You hate me, don't you?"

"What? No, of course I don't."

"Yeah, yeah, you must. That's why you are saying this. That's why you didn't want me to come here tonight. That's why you were so eager to see me catch the first plane out of Paris, Texas tomorrow morning and never come back. Maybe that is even why you never told my Aunt Corinne you were pregnant so she couldn't tell me. You think I'm slime."

That is when Gigi lost all sense of self control. "I told that bitch! She just figured that Gigi the skank from the wrong side of the tracks was making up stories."

"Hey! Don't talk about yourself like that."

She hissed out at him, "I'll talk about myself any damn way I want. That's the way your saintly Aunt Corinne talked about me to my face when I was on her doorstep...a high school fucking senior...pregnant with your kid!"  
Rex smiled, even through his own pain and hers, "So he is mine?" Then he spun around and headed for Shane's room.

Gigi threw her hands up in the air. Her eyes closed. She let out a short breath. What did I just do? she wondered

Even as she was bringing Rex to her place tonight, she knew she was risking this happening. She told herself it would look even more suspicious if she just left him in front of the diner without a place to stay, or drove him through the snow, where half the roads were closed down because the governor didn't put snow plows into the state budget, twenty miles to the next big city where he could find a room. But, in truth, she wasn't afraid of arousing his suspicions.

She could have just told him she had a jealous boyfriend who wouldn't look too kindly on her bringing home an ex-lover to sleep on their couch. Gigi knew the reason she didn't tell him that lie or any other was that she wanted to spend a few more moments with him, wanted him to have the chance to remember how good it was between them, to maybe regret that he gave them up so easily. She wanted Rex...and so she put her son in this position, and now she was terrified she had put in motion something bound to break Shane's heart. For as excited as Rex was to meet his son, he would still have to go back to Pennsylvania, to his home, to the bar he managed and the private eye career he was building, to his real life...to his Adrianna. And then her and Shane would be left alone, just like he left them in Detroit.

Gigi walked out of the kitchen and looked down the hall. She saw Rex in Shane's darkened room, the moonlight cast over him as he stared down at the sleeping child. Shane was already half way to becoming a man. He was angry at not having a father and at being poor and at how hard his mother had to work. And now he would be angry that he was lied to. Gigi feared her son would become as out of control as her and Rex had once been._ I can't let that happen,_ she thought desperately.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He stared down at the blonde haired boy. Rex was transfixed. He thought he understood what it was like to be a father. He thought Tommy being his godchild had taught him, for he would do anything ( kill, maim, torture, steal, lie, bleed) for that baby. He thought that his relationship with Bo taught him how a father should treat a son, and a son should feel for a father. But only now, when he looked at this child that carried his DNA, did the full magnitude of fatherhood hit him.

_I am responsible for him...He needed me and I wasn't there...I let him down...Oh, God._...he thought. _I let my beautiful, innocent little son down._

And for what? A big pay day he was chasing. There was no amount of money that could be paid to equal spending one day with his child, let alone a decade. In that moment, Rex hated himself for his foolhardy choices in his youth and for all he had thrown away, easily, as if it could be replaced. As if Gigi didn't matter at all. But she had. She was his best friend, his love, his confidant, the one he would call if he was in jail to bail him out, the one he would sneak off to make love to in the late afternoons when he should have been flipping burgers at his after school job. And he walked away...never looking back...leaving her to find out she was carrying his child alone.   
_I'm the scum of the earth_, Rex thought_ I am worse than Wally Balsom ever was._

Gigi slid into the room. She placed her hand on his chest, standing between him and Shane like a human wall of protection, and whispered "Come on, you'll wake him up."

She led him back to the living room, where they both sat on the couch. After two minutes passed, Rex looked at her and asked "What do we do now?"

"I stay here and raise my child like I always have," Gigi said, calmly as her eyes searched his. "And you go back East to your life."

"Llanview? You think I can go back there now..." he asked.

"You think you can _stay?" _


	3. part three, Rex and Gigi

Part Three

Gigi led him back to the living room, where they both sat on the couch. After two minutes passed, Rex looked at her and asked "What do we do now?"

"I stay here and raise my child like I always have," Gigi said, calmly as her eyes searched his. "And you go back East to your life."

"Llanview? You think I can go back there now..."

"You think you can _stay_?" 

The way she asked the question begged for him to tell her yes, but Gigi knew that was not the answer she would get. One look at the ring in his pocket, and he would remember all the reasons why he didn't belong in Paris, Texas. His fashionista girlfriend couldn't run her business out of this two bit town. He couldn't have a night club here. There were barely enough people to fill out a guest list for a party at The Bon Jour Diner on New Year's Eve.

Unless it snowed every day of the year, this town wouldn't be jam packed with people with time on their hands. It was more of a place people drove through on the way somewhere better. Rex wouldn't want to live here, and Adrianna would hate it on sight, of that she was sure. 

Gigi knew that the moment Rex told her he was, in fact, leaving- which she knew he would- something in her would break, for herself and her son. After that, she could never love Rex again. The fantasy would be dead. And Shane's father would always remain just a man she dreamt up when the one she loved disappeared.

Rex stood up and paced the room. He ran his hands through his hair. "I know I can't leave him. I won't. Don't ask me to, Geeg," he begged, using her old nickname.

She stood up. Her voice cracked when she said "And don't you ask me to build up my son's hopes, let you have your moment of glory where you get to be the long lost father coming back from his grave, and then you up and leave in a week or a month when you just have to get back to _her_."

"So, that's it? You don't give me any credit at all for being someone who would do the right thing by my son? You think all I know how to do is run and you assume I'll run again. So you _choose_, all on your own, to not tell me about my child when you had the chance today. You want me to leave and never look back, huh? Well you can count on one thing from me, and this is a guarantee, Morasco. That will never happen. I won't go back to Llanview and forget I ever saw you again...forget Shane...forget what's here in Texas. I thought it was going to be hard to get on that plane and leave just you behind, my best friend from high school, but my kid too...I can't do it," in his mind flashed the faces of everyone he loved back home, some he loved more than life itself but not more than his son. _"Not for anyone."_  
Rex sat down on her couch. "I'm staying."

Gigi raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "I think you are in shock, Balsom. Sleep it off."

"And I think you are underestimating how stubborn I am. Don't you remember me at all? When I want something, I get it. And you..." he smiled and winked "you always used to give in and give it to me eventually."

She swallowed hard at the memory of them squeezed into her twin bed together, bare skin on bare skin, so young and reckless and caught up in their first taste of love. Gigi forced the images out of her mind. "This is my son's life we are talking about here. You can't just make these decisions all on your own."

"See that is where you are wrong, Geeg. This is our son's life we are talking about. I want in. Let me."

She didn't know what to say or think or feel. Gigi sighed in frustration and said "I'm going to bed. If you are still here when I wake up, we'll talk. And if your try to talk to Shane before then...you know that thing I threatened to do to you after you crashed my car into that tree after Homecoming?"

_I will cut off your balls and feed them to a deer if you ever drink and drive again!_ She had screamed _Don't you have anything to live for, you big dummy? What about me? I happen to love you, you freaking idiot!!_

Gigi told him now. "I will do it and I'm dead serious."

Rex had no doubt she would. You didn't mess with a Detroit girl and get away with it.

He watched Gigi head into her bedroom, and couldn't help but smile. After a little while, when he was sure she was asleep, he went back into Shane's room, tip toeing so he didn't make a sound, and sat on the floor. He simply stared at the young man for around an hour...his child...a Morasco and a Balsom, all mixed into one.

Rex whispered, right before he crept out of the room, "Merry Christmas, kid."

When he went back to the couch he found that Gigi had laid presents out under the tree. She must have known he was in the room with Shane but didn't disturb them. Rex glanced at her door. His old best friend, his first love, Gigi from around the block...the mother of his son.

All in all, if he could choose anyone, he could admit to himself now, he would have chosen her to have a baby with because it was hard as hell to raise a kid in this world and she was the only woman he ever knew who was tough as nails, tough as Natty, and Roxy, as tough as you had to be to be a Balsom.

He thought of Jenn for a brief moment. There was a time he wanted a life and family with her more than anything, so much it was hard to think about even now, much more than he wanted to marry Adrianna, but there was no comparing the two, so he didn't try. Jenn had a hard edge at times but she was also fragile, broken like him...he wanted to save her but he couldn't. He felt that he let her get hurt, if only he would have showed up a little sooner and saved her. This time, with Shane, he was showing up late too...but not too late. There's still time, Rex believed. There had to be. He needed to do this right.

_I'm a father, _he thought. _But only Shane can make me his Dad. I've got to prove to him I'm worth taking a shot on._

Gigi came back out of her room. She told him "Just heading to the bathroom."

For a moment, their eyes held. He asked "Did you think I would be gone?"

"No."

"Good. Because, now that I think about it, I think I'll stick around old Paris, Texas for a while. It's starting to grow on me."

Her face told him that she was afraid to believe anything he said. With a small forced smile she said "Okay," and went into the bathroom. When she came out she told him "You really should get some sleep. There is only one day of the year Shane manages to wake up early and its Christmas. He'll remember you from the diner...just wake me up as soon as he gets up. Though his shrieking over his Wii game system will probably do the job on its own...Night, Rex."

He watched her go back into her room. It was an insane turn of events that brought him to this town, and an unlikely snowfall that kept him here, but he didn't think it was coincidence. He felt he was meant to be right here, sitting on this couch, at this moment in time, a dozen feet from his son...after ten long years knowing he was missing something, Rex Balsom finally had the faces to go with his nameless ache. _Gigi. Shane. My family._

THE END

Thanks for reading.


	4. This is for the Best

Note- I love this song and wanted to use it for a story. So I changed what happened on OLTL to fit better with the song.

**This is for the Best**

**Talia Sayid **

_This is for the best. This is for the best. This is for the best. You are not leaving him behind, you are going to find yourself. This is what you want._

I tell that to myself over and over as I sit on this cold plastic chair at the bus station. At my feet is one lumpy duffle bag, the sum total of my life. I tried telling myself, as the cabbie pulled it from the trunk and passed it to me earlier, that it is not pathetic to be able to pack your whole life into one bag. But I know it is. It is pathetic. I am pathetic. I wonder if people see it when they look at me? Do they know how empty my world is?

I should have more by now...more photo albums, more books, some furniture, something that says I have been on this planet for the last twenty seven years.

I don't have any of that stuff though cause I was- like some stupid silly girl you see on some damn sitcom- waiting to meet the ever illusive _Mr. Right _and then I would get the house, the minivan, the dining room table that seats eight for when his family comes over during the holidays. And since he never showed up, or truth be told, I suppose, never wanted _me_ is what I should really say...since Antonio does not want me...I won't be getting any of that anytime soon. Instead it is off to Cherryvale to rent a room and take a new job and move on.

Sara asked me, in her straight forward way that shocks some people, "Won't you be miserable and lonely? You don't know a soul there!"

That doesn't really worry me. I'm used to loneliness. And for miserable, what could be worse than seeing Antonio everyday and knowing he does not want me? That there are no butterflies swirling around his gut over me, like they dance through mine over him. That he doesn't suck in a breath if he walks in the locker room and catches a flash of my bare skin, like I do when I see his abs, his back, the muscles that sculpt his arms. That the kiss we shared doesn't linger in his mind, like it does mind, coming back to grab my attention at the strangest moments, making me stop and sigh, bite my lip, crave what I can't have.

Staying here and going through that everyday for years would be pure torture. So I have no choice. I have to leave Llanview...I have to leave Antonio.

Over the loud speaker I hear "The bus to Cherryvale will leave in twenty minutes."

Foolishly, I look around. Even now, I think maybe there is a chance. He will come and tell me not to go. He will want me. He will choose me. He will love me. Antonio will remember that I am the woman who has stood by his side for months, letting him lean on me, glad to offer my strength when he was weak, my jokes when he was sad, my heart to heal his broken one.

But he won't show up. Because loving me, a flesh and blood needy imperfect woman, is not as good as loving the memory of Jessica, or hating the memory of her, whatever it is he is doing that keeps him so consumed with the past, unable to step into the future we could have. Or maybe it is not that at all. Maybe if the right woman came along, he could. Maybe it is just me.

(_Your fingertips across my skin.  
The palm trees swaying in the wind.  
Images_

You sang me Spanish lullabies.  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes.  
Clever trick.

Well,  
I never want to see you unhappy.  
I thought you'd want the  
same for me.

Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream.  
I'm trying not to think about you.  
Can't you just let me be?) ( A Fine Frenzy)

Sitting there, I close my eyes for a moment, and in my mind Antonio does show up. He's desperate, calling my name, and when I rush to him, he smiles. In that crazy smile of his, I find the will to forgive...maybe he didn't know how much he hurt me, maybe he won't do it again, maybe he can love me, in fact.

In that fantasy, he kisses me and I don't board the bus. He carries my duffle bag to his car, and teases me about not having more luggage. That night I stay at his place, and though we don't make love yet, it feels wonderful to fall asleep with my head on his shoulder, his arm around my waist. Safe. Wanted. It is a start.

"The bus to Cherryvale is boarding at gate eleven."

Opening my eyes, I look around one last time, but Antonio isn't there. As I climb onto the bus, I tell myself _This is for the best. This is for the best. This is for the best. You are not leaving him behind, you are going to find yourself. This is what you want._

(_So long, my luckless romance.  
My back is turned on you.  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do _) ( A Fine Frenzy)

As we pull away from the curb, someone yells "It's midnight. Happy New Year!"

_Hello, 2008. Hello, my new great lonely life_


	5. part two, Antonio and Talia

**Part Two**

Antonio Vega

It has been three days since she left. Almost four. At midnight it will be four. Six more hours away. I have to work for two of those hours, drive home and then shower will kill another one. Heat up some dinner for me and Jamie, read her a story, call my mother and tell her that I made it through another shift because she worries each one will be the last. After that I'll lift weights, drink a couple beers, watch some reality TV, anything to not think. But all I will really be doing, in the back of my mind, during all of that is screaming at myself "_Why did you let her go? Jackass! She was the best woman who is ever gonna fall for your dumb, let her walk out of your life and take a job in another town, ass."_

I can hear her laugh, in my mind and heart and head. See her smile. Smell her perfume in the air. She's like a freaking ghost.

I miss her.

(_We walked along a crowded street  
You took my hand and danced with me  
Images_

And when you left you kissed my lips  
You told me you would never, never forget  
these images

No?  
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me) ( A Fine Frenzy)

Sitting at my desk at work, I glance at the phone. I could call her. Just to see how she is doing. Make sure she is getting along okay. Maybe ask her if she wants to do lunch later this week, or tomorrow, or dinner tonight even. But I can't do that. She never wants to see me again.

I let her down. I might even have broken her heart...whatever part of it she was willing to give to me before I shut her down. I made her feel like I don't want her but the truth is I don't want to ever be the one hurt again. I don't want anyone to be able to do to me what Jessica did. Not that Talia is anything like Jessica. Not that Talia would do what Jessica did. I know that...I trust Talia in a way I never trusted Jessica...it might come from her having my back on the streets or the fact that when she looks at me I can see how much she doesn't want anything more than for me to be happy, loved, cherished even. She wanted to be the one to give me that. Why couldn't I let her? And why, if I don't want to be with her, does it hurt like hell to know she left me behind?

Its only been three days. Almost four. How am I gonna get through a whole life.  
"Antonio, man," Cris walks into the station and over to my desk. "Sara wants me to ask you if you want to go skiing at Llantano Mountain with a bunch of us these weekend."

"I have to work."

"Come after work."

"I have Jamie."

"Mami will watch Jamie. Come on, you can't just mope all day everyday."

"Maybe some other time. Listen I have a lot of work to do..."

"Oh, man." He looks at me like I am a sad, sad specimen. Something you might find on Discovery channel with the caption underneath me reading _Foolish Loser- Let best friend move away on New Year's Eve 2007, has never been the same since._

"Antonio, call her, please. You know you want to so just do it. Or better yet go there. Go bring her home. You can't figure out this thing between you if you're here and she's there."

"I can't do that to her. Talia wants to start over. I have to let her. Have a good time this weekend. Tell Sara I said thanks for thinking of me. I got to get back to work."

When he leaves, I don't work. I don't do anything but flip through my paperwork, not really seeing the words written on the pages, and not really thinking about anything but how to get through the next five and a half hours.

At midnight, it will be four days since she left.

(_Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you.  
Can't you just let me be?_

So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind  
So you're gone and I'm haunted  
and I bet you are just fine!

Did I make it that easy  
to walk right in and out of my life?)


	6. part three, Antonio and Talia

**Part Three**

Talia Sayid

In Cherryvale, I go to bed early every night. Like before Jay Leno early, which is no big loss with the writer's on strike. So when I hear someone pounding on my door at midnight, it takes a minute for me to fully wake up and realize it is not a dream.

With gun in hand I go to look through the peephole, though I can't imagine some crazed rapist or killer knocking on the door before breaking in. I can't really imagine a crazed anyone living in this town. It is full of retirees. The average age of a resident is about 73, it seems like.

Before I can look out the peephole, I hear "Talia!"

"Antonio?" I completely freeze. What in the world is he doing here?

Through the door he says "Hey...um...hey...I know its late."

"Its midnight. Shouldn't you be at home in bed in Llanview...where you live...and not at my door?"

"Can you let me in?"

With shaking hands, I set the gun on a nearby end table, then unlock the door and  
the chain. When I open the door and see him, I lose my breath for a moment. He looks good. His hair is a little messy, his eyes nervous, but he looks like Heaven on Earth to me.

What can I say? I missed him.

"I...uh, can I come in?" Antonio eases pass me, careful not to brush against me. I realize that I probably look like a hot mess. I try to fix my hair. He lies, "You look great."

"I look great?" One glance at my ratty old Eagles jersey confirms I can't possibly look great. "If you came here to apologize, you really don't have to. I'm over it. Don't let my hurt feelings keep you up at night."

"I hurt your feelings," he says softly, as if it causes him pain to know what he did by rejecting me. "I know that. But what you don't know is why."

Rolling my eyes, I say "Please, don't! You came all this way to explain yourself. You couldn't email me your excuses? Listen, I know, you are only trying to make this better, make me feel better, but that's the thing. You can't. What happened, happened. And it sucks. But I am a big girl and I can accept you don't want me. But if you want me to get over you then you can't do this. You can't come here and try to make things right. You can't fix this. We can't just be friends. I loved being your friend, spending time with you and Jamie and feeling like..." Do not say family, I tell myself. "We were right, happy...like we fit. I loved that! But I can't love it anymore because it leads to wanting to love you and I can't want that. I can't have that. You can't keep dangling all that in front of my face. Maybe I should be able to handle just being your friend but I'm sorry I am not that woman. I'm just not. I can't be all cool and mature and watch you date someone else. Babysit while you take her salsa dancing and then come home and cry to me that she just wasn't as special as Jessica. I can't. I won't. I have to get over you, Antonio."

_This is for the best. This is for the best. This is for the best. You are not leaving him behind, you are going to find yourself. This is what you want_.

There are tears in my eyes when I finally run out of words. He walks close to me and places one hand on each of my arms. "Wha...what are you doing?" I ask.

"This," he says softly before he leans close and his lips meet mine.

And, yeah, it may make me weak but I give in and return his kiss. Damn right, I did. This man is who I want in my life, my bed, my heart, my future. This is my very best friend, my Antonio. My arms wind around his neck, pulling him closer to me, though I fear I could never get him close enough, still I try.

When he pulls back, his dark eyes are looking right into mine.

"You kissed me," I say. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to kiss you."

"You came all the way to Cherryvale to kiss me."

"I couldn't email it," he jokes.

I chuckle but my heart is racing. What does this mean? Should I dare hope? Could he want me?

"Talia," he says in a very serious tone usually reserved for giving people bad news. I know that tone. I have used that tone after knocking on the door of accident victims houses. It is not the tone I want to hear from him right now.

I move out of his arms. His face falls. I bit my lip. I so don't want to cry right now. Why did he come here to wake me up, make me feel all this again, kiss me like he needed me as much as I need him, just to let me down again. How can he be so cruel? Can't he see my heart breaking in my eyes? Being a tough girl on the outside maybe that was my downfall. Maybe he thinks I can't be broken.

Antonio lets out a long breath. In the same serious tone as he said my name, he tells me "I am a wreck. I'm messed up. I could blame Jessica or Nash or Keri killing herself and leaving me to raise our daughter alone. Or Andie cheating on me. I could blame it on all that but that just life. It was all hard but it was my life, no worse than a lot of other people's out there. But still it all hit me hard. Some people bounce back easy. I never have. Just when I think I can count on something...someone...the whole world changes on a dime. I hate that. It messes up my mind...my spirit even. I am no prize, believe me."

"Its not you, its me. That is what you are doing, right?"  
"No." He smiled. "No. What I am doing is...telling you that you would have to be either muy loco or very, very brave to take me on. Because I can't guarantee anything. I just know that...ever since you left...my life...Llanview...the world...its all gone to shit. And I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, that might be because the best thing in my world was you...your smile, your laugh, you giving a damn about me and my kid and my brother and my mom...you. Just you caring about me. So I came here..." He takes my hand. "to ask you if you could pack up and move back to Llanview...to home...to me? What do you think? Can I have another chance? I know I should have said all this four days ago..."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because...if I told you..." He took in a shallow breath. Our eyes were locked on each other. "If I told you have damn much I need you then you would know..."

"What? That you care? I needed to know that."

"You would know the way to hurt me. Like she did. But...see you aren't Jessica. What we have isn't anything like what I had with her. You are my best friend. So I need you in my life...in my town...with me everyday, even if you want give me another chance to be your man. But I hope you do, cause I think...for you I could be...I could be the man you need."

It's everything I have ever wanted to hear him say. And yet I am not sure I can trust him. My heart is fragile, barely pieced together, and I am afraid to deal it another blow from his hands. "I already started my job here. It would be unprofessional to quit three days after I started."

"I'll talk to the chief. Tell him that you we can't get along with you back in Llanview. Because I can't. Everywhere I go, I see you. I'm bumping into women on the street and calling them your name. I check my messages ten times an hour, hoping you called. I'm sitting at home with Jamie trying to explain why you can't stop by anymore and nothing I'm telling her makes any sense. You should be there. If you can't...if its too late...I understand. But if you give me one more chance...I can't promise it will all work out, cause nothing is ever perfect and I don't know if I even believe in forever anymore, but I can say that, outside of my family, there is no one else on this planet that means more to me than you. Even if you don't want to be with me, I will still be your best friend. Even if you stay here and never talk to me again, I will be that. I know I let you down, Talia, but you haven't ever let me down yet. So, I'm asking you for a favor, and if that makes me a jerk, then I'm a jerk...quit your job and come back home. Because it really isn't home...not for me, not anymore...if you aren't there."

For a long moment we just stare at each other, with my eyes searching his as I try to muster enough courage to grab the life I want.

Antonio smiles and adds "Plus, Jamie misses you!"

"Low blow. Using that little girl to work me."

He shrugs. "Did it work?"  
"No."

Antonio stills. He steps back. Looking at his feet, he says "Okay. Okay...okay...I can accept that. I guess I should get out of here. I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm sorry...for it all."

He starts to walk past me, but I stop him by placing my hand on his arm, turning him toward me and then easing my body against his. "What did work, though, was you saying that you are a wreck. Cause you are. And so am I. I don't know how to date...how to do any of this, really. All I know is that I want to try ...and the man I want to try with is you."

And when he kissed me that time, my heart that had just felt so fragile, grew strong again. Strong enough to take this risk. Strong enough to stand by his side, just like I had for so many days before now, and keep being the one he could count on, and let him be the one I could love.

(_If you were falling, then I would catch you.  
You need a light, I'd find a match._

Cuz I love the way you say "Good morning."  
And you take me the way I am.  
If you are chilly, here take my sweater.  
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.  
Cuz I love the way you call me "Baby".  
And you take me the way I am  
I'd buy you Rogaine  
if you start losing all your hair.

Sew on patches  
to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.  
And you take me the way I am.  
You take me the way I am.  
You take me the way I am.) ( Ingrid Michealson)

Antonio asked, "So...you're coming home then?" The relief on his face matched perfectly the relief in my soul.

"Yeah, I'm coming home."

**THE END**

Thanks for reading.


	7. Hate the Game

This story is AU. Like the other stories in Snapshot, it was written for a challenge at Soap Fan Fiction. This takes place before Sam every moved to Port Charles, around the time John first moved to Llanview.

**Part One**

_She drinks too much_, that was the first thing John McBain noticed about the woman he had under surveillance. He had heard through his snitch that this dark haired looker was hanging around Rodi's for the last few nights, looking for a mark no doubt. She had chatted up the richest men in town- Kevin Buchanan, Todd Manning, even old as dirt Asa -but had no luck yet, if her still being in here still was any indication.

As soon as John heard her description something clicked in his mind. He had tossed the snitch fifty bucks and went back to the station to dig through some old files from when he worked in Atlantic City. Sure enough, there she was. He confirmed it by looking at her across the bar now.

Same face. Same wicked eyes. Same sweet,_ break you down and make you weak _smile. John had dubbed her Lolita. For she was young when she worked that guy in Jersey, took him for every penny he had and all his pride. She was good. Got out clean. No one ever saw her again, until now.

John smiled. She had wandered into the wrong town. He picked up his beer and headed for her table.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_He thinks he's good_, Sam thought as she watched John sauntering over to her. The corners of his mouth were turned up in a smile he was trying hard to fight off.

She knew who he was. She never came to a town without knowing all the players- the cops, the upper crust, the crooks, the whores, who to trust and who to never let too close. Sam would read the back issues of the local newspapers online for the last year, find out all the dirt, and only when she was sure she could con them all would she move to a new town and find a new mark.

Was she proud of herself? No. But a girl had to survive and this is the way she had been taught how to do it. Schooled in the finer points of thievery at her father's knee before she was old enough to tie her own shoes. And Sam had learned quick, and well, and only got better with time.

She knew John McBain would be the only one in Llanview with any shot at guessing who she really was, but she had decided to risk it. Maybe she has wanted this to happen. This confrontation. So she could get out of it, not end up behind bars, best the best...and walk away clean. That would be quite a feat. But if anyone could pull it off, she could.

_You might be good_,_ McBain, _she told him silently just as he reached her table _But you aren't better than me._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
"You play pool?" he asked

No hello. Just _You play pool_? and a nod at the table.

She decided to lay it on thick, knowing he knew it was an act. Sam batted her eyelashes and looked at the table blankly, then back into his blue eyes. Her voice was soft and helpless when she cooed out "Oh, me? No...I'm afraid I'm useless when it comes to games of skill."

John chuckled, shaking his head and looking down, before he said "Let me give you a few pointers. It's a slow night in here and I'm looking for something to pass the time."

Without waiting for a response from her he walked over to the table and racked them up.

It was hard for Sam to not smile at him. What a cocky guy he was. It had been so long since she dealt with one of them- her favorite kind.

She was used to suckers who fell easily for her hard luck story. Like putty in her hands; first she molded herself to suit them, and then their lives to suit her. But men like John, who didn't trust easily and saw the con coming, they were a particularly fun challenge. She had beaten his type before. Maybe not better than him, but men nearly as good.

Sam made her way over to the pool table feeling confident that she could convince John she wasn't the criminal he thought he was about to arrest.

She could convince any man of anything- even that the sky wasn't blue. And though John McBain was well known as a Fed who closed big cases, he was still just a man. A man to be played and left broken. Like her no good father Cody left her.


	8. part two, John and Sam McCall

**Part Two**

John had to stifle a laugh every time she took a shot. She was obviously missing on purpose. He had to admit he could see why so many men fell under her spell. She looked...like sin, but the kind you want to commit over and over again even though you know you are gonna end up in hell. And she was fantastic at luring men into behaving in the way she wanted them to behave. They weren't even done with one game of pool and she was making him want to spend more time with her before he took her off to the cell that was waiting at the LPD with her name on it.

But he took his job too serious to waste anymore time playing games with Miss Lolita.

"You got a name?" John asked after he sunk the eight ball in the corner pocket and won the game.

"Shirley."

"Sure don't look like no Shirley." His eyes moved up and down her, hoping to throw her off guard. But she wouldn't be put off balance that easily.

"Oh, I know. It's a horribly old fashioned name. But it fits me..."

"You're an old fashioned girl, huh?"

"Afraid so." Her eyes drifted away from his, in a shy way that said she wasn't used to so much male attention.

John's stomach hurt now from holding back his laughter. And he seriously suspected she was on to him. He would have to watch her closely because she might bolt for the door.

He asked, "What brought you to LLanview?"

She met his eyes once more. Damn, she was hot. Too hot. Like a walking fire that could burn to the ground anyone that got too close. How many men had she burned so far? Too many, he was sure.

"I was looking for a new start. You see I grew up in foster care." She waited for him to offer up an apology.

He murmured, "Sorry to hear that," while thinking _What part of the scam is this?_

She went on, "I actually have an identical twin sister. Our mother was only fifteen...that's what the social worker told me...she couldn't keep us so she gave me and my sister up when we were only a year old. We got separated and I never saw mom or sis again. And my father...who knows who he is. Anyway, I grew up in Utah. Bouncing from one Mormon family to another...I needed a change. To see a little of the world, so here I am. I've been trying to make new friends in town ever since I arrived but the folks here just aren't that friendly. You are the first one to actually be kind to me and I don't even know your name."

John smiled now, unable to resist a moment longer. _A freaking twin_, he thought, _Don't blame me! It was my twin. Like he was going to buy that._

"McBain," he answered then waited a moment and added "Agent John McBain, Federal Bureau of Investigations."

XXXXXX

_Bond. James Bond,_ Sam thought, rolling her eyes, _He had announced his name with the same kind of over dramatic flair that a movie character would. Does he think that will impressive me? Or make me shake in my stilettos? Please._

She smiled sweetly at him and held out her hand. "Its a pleasure to meet you, formally I mean."

He shook her hand but then didn't let go. Instead he leaned close. "Cut the crap. You know who I am, you knew the minute I walked in that door. And I know who you are...what you are. You're under arrest, pretty girl."

"For what? Losing at pool? But..." still with the innocent act she cried "that can't be a crime in Pennsylvania, can it? I wasn't trying to hustle you, I swear, officer."

He corrected, "Agent."

Her eyes narrowed as her pretenses fell away. His face was bent close to her. His shockingly blue eye staring right into hers. Why did blue eyes always tempt her to forget her goal? Damn blue eyes would bring her down one day, Sam was sure of that.

"Agent," she breathed out. Their eyes warred for control. Her body started to heat up. He was close. Too close. The bar wasn't crowded and there was no reason to be nearly pressed against her.

John said, "Come with me quietly and I won't cuff you in here."


	9. part three, John and Sam McCall

**Part Three**

John led her outside into the alley where his squad was parked. He was thinking _This is too easy. She didn't even put up a fight._

"You gonna ask what you did wrong?"

"You mean this isn't about me losing at pool? Then I don't know..."

"Drop the act, will ya?"

She spun around and then her body was flattened against his. John grabbed her hands so she couldn't go for his gun. She pushed at him slightly and he stumbled back, dragging her with him, until his back hit a brick wall.

The feel of her body rubbing against his instantly made all his nerve endings spring to life. He wanted her, badly. Which was a hell of a surprise to him because this man never let anything get in the way of a collar.

But it would feel like heaven, he was sure, to have her legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth on his, to have this woman who controlled men begging him to take her and making her scream his name.

_No wonder she' so dangerous_, he thought

If she could make him think all this when it was the last thing he should be even considering at this moment. But he was thinking it...he was thinking he needed to see her naked.

**(The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.  
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.  
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.  
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.) ( Chris Isaak)**

Before he could stop her, she was on the tips of her toes and bringing her mouth up to his. For one long moment, he didn't push her away. Though he moved one hand to his gun and one to his handcuffs so she couldn't grab either. She made a sound, half way to a moan, that told him this kiss affected her more than she had planned. That sound made his body go hard.

She was the biggest temptation he had ever faced down.

**(What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.  
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.  
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.  
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,  
I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)  
I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)  
With you.)**

John pulled out his handcuffs and slapped them onto her wrists. "I know you're a con women and I am taking you in for bilking Larry Cartwright of Atlantic City, New Jersey out of 1. 5 million dollars in 2001. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, _Shirley_," he sneered out the name as he patted her down.

Soon she was in the back of the squad car. As he drove her to the station John expected her to cry, to beg, to tell him a new version of the twin sister story but she didn't.

Instead she told him, "You got me. Does it feel good?"

"Damn good."

XXXXXXXXXX

Sam smiled. Man, he was so full of himself. He thought he had another big score to impress his bosses with, he had bagged himself a real live con woman wanted in five states and two other countries.

"What else makes you feel good, John? Is there a woman who makes you feel like you do now? Makes you hot and ready and alive like playing with me tonight has..."

"This isn't playing. You're looking at serious time."

"You need to loosen up. You were more fun at the bar."

"That wasn't real. It was my job. I wouldn't have spoken to you otherwise so don't take me for a mark you can work. I'm not."

"Will you remember me, John? Remember this night and what it felt like to almost beat someone just as good at what they do as you are. Will I stick with you, Agent?"

Sam had no doubt she would. Too bad she had to leave so soon. It would have been fun to kiss him some more. They had barely gotten started and if not for his law abiding ways could be in a bed somewhere right now.

Sam rarely indulged in casual sex. She used sex to get her what she wanted, and never, ever fell in love. But for John, someone who was her match in many ways and her exact opposite in others, she might have made an exception. Because just one more kiss from him would have not been enough to satisfy her, she knew that without a doubt.

"You're just a perp," he said but their eyes connected in the rearview mirror. His flashed with hunger and also an understanding that they were both experts on their chosen professions; he respected her talent.  
Sam slipped out of the handcuffs- she had been working on doing that very thing since he placed her in the backseat- but when he took her out of the car she pretended the cuffs were still on. The area outside the back of the police station was deserted.

In an instant she had his gun, leaving his mouth hanging open. It was obviously the first time anyone had ever got the jump on Agent John McBain.

John said, holding up his hands, "Whoa there, don't do anything stupid."

"A innocent Mormon like me," Sam said. "I wouldn't shoot a cop. That must be my twin sister you are thinking of."

John went to grab the gun. She raised it higher and looked him dead in the eye. "Don't."

She tossed him the handcuffs and said "Put them on one wrist and them handcuff yourself around that pole right there."

"Forget it."

"You will do it or I will shoot you, Agent McBain. Blue eyes or not."

"What do my blue eyes have to do with anything?"

"Move!"

John was pissed as hell, she could tell, but he did as she instructed. Sam knew she had to move fast before any cops stepped outside or pulled up in there squad cars, but she lingered just long enough to say. "You were tougher than I thought, John, really. I should have been able to sell that twin sister story. Any other guy and I would have, I guarantee it."

"You must deal with real idiots then."

She laughed. "No, they believe because they want to. They want me. And the price is buying everything I say and giving me everything I want. It's more than worth it, believe me."

His eyes locked in on hers. She knew he wanted to keep her talking till other cops came by and caught her, and she knew he still wanted her in his bed. Between them it was easy to read each other, but other people would have never known what was going on behind the eyes of either of them.

Sam couldn't' t resist. She had to feel his lips on hers one more time. It was so rare for her to want to kiss someone, usually it was just a part of the job, the cost of doing business. But John was different. Tempting in ways that could get her killed or locked up, but still she wanted him.

(**The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.  
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.  
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you no,**

I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) )

XXXXXXXXXX  
He saw what she was doing as she leaned close and John hissed at her, "Damn you," right before her lips met his. He could have jerked his head back, he didn't. Instead he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss.

Well, he was screwed now. Not only would he look like an ass when he was found handcuffed to this pole but he was also getting off on kissing a con woman, a everyday common crook. But she was the hottest and most lethal he had ever met. For she didn't kill, she left men wanting more and more and more. Even after she ruined them, they wanted more...John wanted more even now.

She pulled back, smiling. He didn't even know her real name but felt connected to her. He would hunt her down and bring her to justice if it took the rest of his career. And, John knew, he would always wonder what it would have been like to be able to take this beauty to bed. The image of her straddling him as they lay on white sheets flashed through his mind.

She ran her thumb over his bottom lip. "Don't hate the player, Agent McBain, hate the game."

Then she was gone.

**(What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.  
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.)**


	10. The Woman He Loves, Rex and Gigi

_Prompt:_

_tempt  
friend  
sigh_

**The Woman He Loves**

**Friday May 16****th****, 2008**

**8:30 am **

Rex Balsam woke up in a cold sweat. In less than ten hours he would be a married man. He looked over at his sleeping fiancee and, without stopping to think to hard about what he was doing, slid off the bed and headed for a shower.

He left the apartment twenty minutes later, while Adrianna still slept peacefully in bed. He used to love watching her sleep but today all he felt as he looked at her was panic. And the sound of a loud clicking clock. 9 hours and ten minutes till he would be married. The very thought choked the breath out of him. He could feel the walls closing in.

_Calm down! This is what you want_, he told himself._ She's the woman you love, remember? Do not be an idiot! Do not blow this._

Rex knew it wasn't good that he was questioning his feelings at this late stage in the game but he put it off to normal cold feet pre-wedding jitters. He headed for Buchanan Industries to drop off a file. Sure he could have had it messengered over but he needed to get out of the apartment and work off some of his manic energy. If Adriana knew he was here, she'd probably think it was because he wanted to see his ex Gigi Morasco. But Rex wouldn't cop to that being what brought him to these offices over and over. It was just a nice bonus.

He didn't have many friends these days. Just Marcie and Michael. And sometimes it felt like Marcie had to like him, like she inherited him after Jenn died. They would be bonded for life because of went they shared by both loving Jenn and Tommy, plus they lived in this small town where their lives criss crossed everyday, but Marcie could never be who Gigi was to Rex. Marcie hadn't known him back when he was a kid. She hadn't loved him with all her heart and soul. She hadn't ever tempted him, like Gigi did then and now.

Rex stopped dead in his tracks, in the hallway of B and E, and shook his head back and forth._ Gigi tempts me? Where did that crazy thought come from? She's my buddy...my hot as hell in a skirt buddy. And that's all! _

He was about to head into Gigi's office when he heard Natalie say, through the half open door, "I know that look."

"What look? Do I have something on my face?"

"Don't try it. I mention the wedding today and you look like you're about to burst into tears."

"That's crazy. I have allegries. Shane does too. The Texas ragweed used to wreck havoc on us every Spring, you best believe."

"Mmm-hmm. Sure you do. Are you in love with my brother?"

Rex's mouth dropped open. He inched closer to the door, knowing he should make his presence known and break up his sister's interrogation, but he couldn't help wanting to hear the answer to Natalie's question. His heart sped up more and more each second, till he felt dizzy. He motioned with his hand, urging Gigi to hurry up, even though she couldn't see him.

Natalie went on "It's a simple question. Are you or are you not still in love with my brother?"

"In love?" Gigi laughed, but Rex could have sworn it was full of false bravado. "After a decade? Yeah, I'm still carrying a torch for my HIGH school boyfriend. How pathetic do you think I am?"

"I didn't hear you say no. Say No, I don't love Rex."

"I don't, _okay_?! Rex is a really good guy," her voice broke a little "...a really_ great _guy...and he's been great to Shane and me both since we moved to town and I do appreciate that. But love? Come on."

"Oh..." Natalie said. It was more of a sigh than a word and it said _You do love him. And you're gonna have to watch him marry someone else. I'm sorry. _"Here."

Rex edged closer to the door and watched as Natalie passed Gigi a tissue. Gigi wiped away wide tears that streamed down her face, the same one she was still trying to make look as if it felt nothing at all.

A long silence passed. Rex looked down, as tears came to his own eyes.

In a soft but firm voice, Natalie said "Tell him."

_Why didn't you tell me, Gigi_? Rex asked her silently.

"Why would you want me to do that to your brother on his wedding day?"

"Better you do it today then tomorrow. These things have a way of coming out. You think you can live forever with your secret but its harder than you think. Especially when the man you feel so much for is a part of your everyday life. If you love Rex, you better step up and let him know that before he says I do to someone else."

"Be the crazy ex- girlfriend who makes a play for the groom? I don't think so. He asked me to go there and support him. To be happy for him. And I am. I'm just not happy for myself right now...or for Shane...cause we really needed Rex...we really loved him...all the time he's spent making Shane feel comfortable in Llanview and important, making me feel smart enough for this job and capable enough to be a kick ass single mom...we really could have loved having him as our own. But he's not. He's hers. And though I don't really care what Little Miss Sunshine Fashion Exec feels or if her big day gets ruined, I do care about Rex. I want him to have what he wants- even if that isn't me anymore."

As much as Rex had wanted to rush out of his apartment earlier is just as much as he longed to rush into Gigi's office in that moment. But what would he say? His mind was a jumble of thoughts. He desperately needed to catch his breath. _Who sucked all the air out of the world all of the sudden_? he wondered.

Taking a step forward and then one back, he turned and headed for the elevator but tripped over a plant._ Crash._

Jumping to his feet, he ran for the stairs. Behind him he heard Natalie call out his name.


	11. part two, the woman he loves

**Part Two**

**Friday May 16****th****, 2008**

**5: 40 pm**

Rex paced the living room at Llanfair. He walked so fast that Viki was really starting to worry about her Persian rug. He was bound to wear a hole right through it if he didn't slow down.

Every minute or so, he dialed his phone, while still constantly moving, or sent a text. He had been all over town that day, his mind racing every second since he overheard Gigi and Natalie's conversation. He had been to see him mom, to see Marcie, sat in a pew at the decorated church, just for starters. All his words came out stuttered, as his brain played catch up with his heart.

Viki said "Please, let me make you some tea."

"No...no...really I'm good. Fine...uh, maybe I should try calling Gigi again?"

Viki gave him a look full of pity. "I think she must have her phone turned off."

"Sure...course...since its going straight to voicemail. But maybe she just turned it on and didn't check the messages yet? I should try again."

"If you want to."

He was in the middle of dialing when the sound of the front door opening stopped him. Rex jumped right over the end table and rushed into the foyer, stopping mere inches from a stunned Gigi. Her eyes were bloodshot and her skin splotchy as if she had been crying for hours.

"Rex, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off somewhere slipping into your tux? You're cutting it awful close for a six o'clock wedding, aren't you?" She swallowed hard as her eyes searched his.

His fingers encircled her wrist, as he leaned close to her. "We have to talk, Morasco."

Gigi stood there, as stiff as she could manage, doing her best to not melt into Rex's touch. "Talk about what? Neither of us have time for a chat. Not if we want to make your wedding. I have a raging headache so I was thinking of staying home but you, as the guest of honor, really should show up. It would be downright rude to stand up your lovely bride."

Rex opened his mouth to speak but Viki stepped into the foyer of Llanfiar at that moment, halting his words. She said "I'm heading upstairs to check on Shane. Mary Anne is posing for his comic book. He's decided to make her a heroine in it. You have an amazing son...Gigi." Her eyes lingered on Rex a moment too long though, and he felt like he would have a heart attack right there.

Viki didn't do accidents and she didn't lie. That one second look was the answer to the question he had about Shane for months now. The question Gigi swore wasn't true. _He's my son_, Rex thought, _My son, my son, my son_, the word beat like a drum in his head as his eyes widened and he stumbled away from Gigi.

"Thank you," Gigi whispered to Viki, before Viki went upstairs.

Rex's eyes locked on Gigi's. He didn't know how to start. Everything he wanted to say was stuck on his tongue, making his mouth feel hot and thick. He swallowed and then asked "Where were you all day? I've been trying to reach you for hours."

"Your sister took me for a spa day."

"Natty did? Why?"

"She said I deserved it. I guess I'm a more valuable employee at BE than I thought." Her tone was nervous and breathy. "Now, seriously old friend of mine, you better skedaddle. Your wedding waits."

"You don't even want to know why I was looking for you?"

She sighed. "You ran away this morning when you heard... a conversation you had absolutely no right to be listening to and now you want to tell me how sorry you are that...that you can't return my feelings and that...that Shane won't suffer for you marrying Adrianna...that you will stay his friend and mine...that you're committed to us, right?"

"Yes, I am."

"Right! Okay! We have it worked out then. No need to say anymore. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go find some aspirin. I'll try to make it to the reception, if I can. I'm sorry. I know I said I would be at the church but this migraine is a killer." Gigi started to walk into the kitchen but stopped and looked into Rex's eyes. "Go. Marry her. Get your happy ending. Please. I want that for you...I truly do. Of everything you heard today, I hope you heard me say that...I want you happy. That's what matters most."

"And what about your happiness? What about Shane's? Shouldn't that matter to me?"

"Does it?"

"You know it does, Gigi."

"Okay," she said in a tone verging on tears. "That's good to know. You've told me what you came to say so now...you should go. Go to her, Rex. Before you piss her off so bad by being late that she chucks a shoe at your head and scars you for life."

"I'm not...I'm not...going anywhere. There isn't gonna be a wedding."

"Of course there is. In about an hour you're saying I do to the woman you love."

"Its off. I told her already. Its over. Dorian is probably calling guests right now and cursing my soul to Hell. Adrianna will never be my wife."

"Why not? Oh God, Rex, did I ruin this for you? Are you going to hate me forever for this." She pushed at his chest. "Why did you do that?!"

He grabbed both her hands, tenderly caressing them as he tugged her closer to him. With tears streaming out of her eyes, Gigi repeated "Why?"


	12. last part, the woman he loves

**Part Three**

**Friday May 16****th****, 2008**

**6 pm **

Rex finally started to be able to breath for the first time that day, as he stared deep into Gigi's eyes.

She had asked him why he would end his engagement to Adrianna mere hours before they were set to say I do. The better question, as he figured it, was why hadn't he done it the minute he came home from Paris, Texas? There was no denying he had felt something for Gigi from the first second he saw her again at the Bon Jour Diner. First, stunned but then excited, nearly giddy really when he thought about how he had never expected to see her again but she was back in his world, looking just as good and making him feel just as right. He had felt more than any man who was in love with someone else should have but he did his best to push those feelings down. Now he couldn't anymore. Now he had to lay his heart in her hands and pray she'd still want it, after all his screw ups and all the times he had walked away from her.

Gigi repeated for a third time, her voice tear choked and desperate, "_Why?_"

"Cause I heard the first girl I was ever in love with might still be in love with me. She won't admit it but...I figured I would take a shot anyway."

"Oh, Rex."

"You've been keeping secrets from me, haven't you? About how you feel and about...our son."

She gasped but, after a moment, nodded. Gigi whispered "Please don't hate me. I tried to tell you...I tried..." She broke into a loud, ugly sob that unleashed years of worry about how he would react in this very moment.

"Shhh." He pulled her into his arms. "There is no way in hell I will ever hate you. I might not understand you...but I can't hate you...you feel like home to me."

Gigi met his eyes. "Really? Even when you know I've lied to you for months? I was gonna lie to you for the rest of your life, Rex."

"And that's what I don't get. Cause...I thought...I thought you felt like I was a good influence on Shane? You don't think I'm good enough to be his dad? Or that you need my help?" His words were shaky and confused but he refused to move away from her again. This time he would stay as close to Gigi as he could get, so they could figure this out together. Running away would only cost him more wasted time, and he didn't want to lose another minute with her.

"I need you! I needed you all along. But I couldn't find you and then when I did...that first day in the diner when I was still in shock that you were back in my life...you started talking about Adrianna. Your big love for her. Your hopes for a life with her. Your dreams of children with her. I never expected to come to LLanview. I didn't expect my son to get the chance to love you...love you as much as I always have...so I didn't tell you about him. And then it all became too late. Shane has so much invested in the father I created for him and you had so much of your life pledged to Adrianna...I just didn't think me and an insta family fit into your plans."

"That should have been for me to decide."

"I thought I knew your choice."

"Really?" He leaned close to her, till his eyes were an inch from hers. "Hear me, Morasco, and hear me good. I choose you. This time and every time. I might be slow to getting to this point...sometimes I have to be beat over the head with the obvious stick...but if you do love me? If you do...we can make it. My mind is reeling over this news about Shane but I think a part of me knew all along...and when it comes to me and you...I'm finally starting to feel like I am right where I am supposed to be...instead of playing a role...playing the happy fiancee then having a panic attack the second I am alone. I don't want to end up that guy...that guy who did what every expected but not what he wanted. I want you."

Shane snuck onto the stairs at that moment and sat down. He had told Mary Anne he was going to the bathroom but when he heard Rex in the foyer he headed there to say hi. But one look down the stairs, at his mom in Rex's arms, stopped him.

Rex told Gigi "So you have to tell me the truth this time. Answer Natalie's question that you never really answered aloud earlier...do you love me?"

She raised her hand to stroke his cheek. "You hear me, and hear me good, Balsam, I have never loved anyone else but you."

Shane's mouth dropped and he ran down the stairs toward them.

Rex picked up Gigi and kissed her. When they broke apart a minute later, both were wearing huge grins.

Shane asked "What about my dad?"

Gigi turned around, sobering up instantly. "Hey, honey. What did you say? Your dad? Did you over hear us?"

"Yeah. You said you only loved Rex- ever. Well what about my Dad? You never loved him? How can you say that? He was our hero!"

Rex bent down. He gave Shane a small smile. "Buddy, we need to have a talk about your dad."

"Don't say he wasn't a hero," Shane said, nearly breaking down. "He was! My dad was the best guy ever."

Gigi said "Yes, he is, honey. There's just a lot more I have to tell you about your Dad. A lot of things I should have explained years ago. Lets go sit down, okay?"

"Just tell me you loved my Dad!"

Rex said "Give your mom a chance to tell you the whole story, Shane. Then decide if you are really mad or not. Will you do that for me?"

Shane bit his lip, confused about his loyalties between Brody and Rex, but walked into the living room and sat down.

Gigi whispered to Rex. "I guess the moment of truth has arrived. I hope I can do this right."

He took her hand. "We'll do it together."

She looked at him for a long moment, then smiled. "You sure you won't wake up tomorrow and kick yourself for giving up that rich, beautiful heiress for some average soccer mom?"

"You are anything but average, Morasco. And I am right where I want to be."

He gave her another quick kiss before they walked into the living room, closing the door behind them. There would be people that would never understand what Rex did that day. They would call it a wedding day breakdown, saying he flipped out and messed up his whole life. But he would always know the truth. He saved his life. Because as nice as it had been to love Adrianna, she wasn't the one who could make his blood race with jealousy and his heart overflow with joy just by giving him one look. She had never had that kind of power over him, even on their best day.

But Gigi did, back in high school, and Gigi did in the Bon Jour Diner, and Gigi Morasco did when she told their son Rex was his real father. She made Rex trip over his own feet, get crazy and stupid and reckless. But she also made Rex a man...one who couldn't say he would love and honor and cherish anyone else...not when his woman was right here waiting on him to come to his senses.

He went to sleep with her in his arms, and even though they were fully clothed, it was the most romantic moment of his life. Her head rested on his chest. Her arm was wrapped around his waist.

Shane fell asleep clutching the first page of his new comic book about his Private Eye dad. It would take time for him to really accept Rex as a father, but they had nothing but time now. Day after day of time enough to make it all work out right.

**THE END**


	13. Close Enough to Love, John and Blair

**Close Enough to Love**

**AU, OLTL **

Part One

All she can think of to say is "I'm sorry," over and over. Blair whispers it to John like a prayer, a plea for him to not lose his faith in this world, to not close off his heart because the woman he was in love with has died.

Sitting on his couch, after the funeral, they are both frozen to their bones. Its December and his apartment building's heat is less than reliable. But even if it was on full blast, Blair doubts John would feel the heat. His eyes are hooded with grief, an unending amount of anguish. The pain she sees there runs so deep that it sends terror into her heart.

He's her best friend. Her hero. If he loses his mind, who will keep her sane? If he falls apart, who will be there to be her rock? Blair can not lose John. They have come too far together, through fifteen years of insanity in this town, through three ex-husbands of hers and through his lost of his first wife. Blair had been the one holding his hand on the day they put Caitlin in the ground, just like she did earlier today when they stood in the cemetery beside Marty's casket.

"Stop," he whispers hoarsely. He's been avoiding everyone's eyes all day but he can't look away from her. "Its not your fault. I'm the one who let her down."

Blair knows that if she doesn't get through to John, doesn't let him know that all is not lost, he will fall into a dark abyss, and maybe never crawl out again. She won't let that happen- it can't. She needs John too much. He's her best friend in the world. The man who has outlasted all the others in her heart.

"I knew you would do this. Blame yourself for something that you couldn't have controlled. She was in a car accident, John. An accident...a mistake...unless you are God you can't stop one of those from happening."

It's the truth but John can't see that right now. All he knows is that if he had done things differently, caught up to Marty on that night earlier, that she would still be here. Blaming himself won't help anyone but it doesn't stop him from doing it anyway.

"You weren't there! You don't know what I could have done," he chokes out the words. "I should have been able to save her...I should have...damn it."

Blair scoots as close as she can to him, and raises her hands to cup his face. "You did all you could. Please don't...don't put this on yourself. You carry so many ghosts on your back already...I can't stand to think about you adding another." And then she starts whispering again, in the same desperate tone, "Please, please, please."

He's so much better at saving her than she is at saving him. But she's determined to be his savior today. She'll do whatever it takes to keep him right here with her, and not down in the black hole where he is trying to dive.

She leans close to John, her eyes locked in on his. Her soft pleas die on her lips. He tries to move back an inch. She knows he wants the comfort she is about to offer, but he's too good a man to think he should take it. Blair isn't about to let that stop her though. Her lips connect with his. It is rare for them to ever kiss. Every other time in the past it has happened they were drunk as hell and laughed it off once they were sober. Those kisses were intense lustful clashes- stolen moments where they went beyond the bounds of their friendship.

The kiss Blair gave John now wasn't anything like that. It was all about their friendship, about the love they had for each other, about the way her heart aches because his heart is aching, about how she wants to ease his suffering and give him the only relief she has to offer.

At first John is stiff, his hands resting at his sides, and she is afraid when he starts to lift them that he is about to push her away but instead he buries his hands in her hair. Their kisses stop being tentative. Shivers rush through Blair at the thought that she has won. In the back of her mind she wonders if she is even a little happy that Marty is gone now...but as cruel as Blair can be she wouldn't dare let that thought come to the forefront of her mind, not now or ever. Because John did love Marty and Blair has never tried to deny John even one moment of happiness in the time they have known each other. She's always wanted the best for him- the best woman by his side, the best partner watching his back on the street, the best of everything for he deserved no less. And in this moment she is offering him the best thing she can think of to save him: her love. His love for her has brought her through her darkest days and now she prays her love can do the same for him. Blair knows that John would rather have Marty in his arms right now but she won't let that slow her down. She is strong enough to withstand being his stand in...she's strong enough to do anything for this man...and she will.

John pulls back. His eyes are clouded with hunger for her, the blue darker than she has ever seen it before. Yet he stands up and walks over to the door, opens it and says "You need to go."


	14. part two, John and Blair

**Part Two**

Blair walks over to him and pushes the door closed. Wrapping one arm around his neck, she presses close to him then whispers into his ear "You need me tonight and you know it."

The smooth skin of her cheek brushes over the coarser skin on his as she pulls back to look into his eyes.

"I'll be fine," he lied. And she knew it was a lie. He always said he would be fine but all that meant is he would shut down his heart for years at a time. He would feel nothing: not love or hate, not joy or pain. Blair couldn't stand the idea of that happening again. To watch him be a shadow of his self would break her heart. She knew if he could hold on to someone who was still full of life and hope and vitality then he just might escape another descent into a black walking grief- with only room for bitterness and silent rage as his companions instead of her, or his brother, or Marty's son Cole. All the people who needed John more than John even could understand.

Blair kisses him again, immediately opening her mouth and not holding back her desire for him as she lets her body press against John. A voice in the back of her mind whispers _You've always wanted this. You've always wanted this. You've always wanted him...to be yours._

And maybe she has. But she can't admit that. She will always say they shared this night because he needed it. Because if she lets herself go there in her mind and heart...if she lets herself really contemplate just how long she has wanted more than simple friendship with her best friend Blair will have to stop playing games with other men and finally grow up completely. She will have to step into the love she has been skirting the edges of for well over a decade.

But in this moment, when she leads John over to the bed and then steps out of her dress, she isn't about to work through all that in her brain. She thinks of this as a way to keep John focused on life instead of death. She knows he would not let anyone see him right now while he is at his worst. She is the only one he will let this close right now and so she has to do all she can for him.

He bends to kiss her neck. His lips move to her collarbone and then her shoulder. When he straightens, Blair sees a single tear slide from his eye. She kisses it away. He breathes out her name, and its filled with warnings about how she should run away from him. He's only a magnet for misery, he's sure.

But Blair would never run from him. She's running right toward John in this moment. She will follow him into Hell if that is what she has to do in order to bring him back to her side. Blair unties his tie, tosses it aside, and then slides his suit jacket off.

As much as he tries to stay unattached, devoid of feeling anything for anyone ever again let alone for Blair who has meant so much to him for so long, John can not keep his eyes from moving over her lingerie clad body. She's snuck into more fantasies than he would ever admit to over the years. He just never thought they would end up together. If he was thinking straight he would never risk losing her friendship over one night of sex, but it isn't even sex that he needs right now. Its just feeling something other than his gut wrenching loss that has been squeezing at his heart and lungs for days.

He grabs Blair and kisses her. They move as one backwards until his legs hit the bed and John sits down. He breaks their kiss. Gently he pulls down the straps on her bra, while kissing the swell of her breast. Her hands run through his hair. Blair let out a soft sigh that turns into a moan as his tongue darts out and licks her nipple. He lets his mind go blank then, not allowing himself to see Marty's face in his mind's eye where she has stayed for so many months now and not allowing himself to think about how jealous he has been in the past of all the men Blair let be with her like this.

He can't think about why he's doing this. That would be more than his torn up heart can bear to decipher tonight. All John can do is kiss Blair over and over, and let that be his reality for now: her love, this gift.

Maybe tomorrow he will feel worse, and wonder if he has lost his best friend just as much as he has lost Marty, but that will be tomorrow. Tonight he doesn't have to fall into despair and think about how empty he feels. Tonight Blair is by his side, saving him from himself, and John thanks God for that, for her, for their friendship. She's always said she couldn't get through this life without him. But he couldn't get through this second or the next or the next without her. He figures he will just keep going this way, for as long as he can manage, living by the second, lost in her, and hope that when she finally lets go of him he doesn't crumple.

When he stands up, her hands move to his belt and she slowly undoes it, while her eyes stay locked on him. John realizes that Blair isn't about to walk out of his apartment until she is sure he's through the worse of his pain, and sure he won't shut down on her. She will let him use her, love her, hate her, yell at her, anything and everything, just not push her away.

But he doesn't have the willpower to push her anyway. Not anymore.

His walls crumbled somewhere between their first and second kiss tonight and the last thing John would do now is tell her to go. His body is hard and ready for her when she slides her hand around him. Every caress takes him closer to the point of being able to think of nothing but the moment he can finally slide into her body. And soon that is all that is on his mind, not the past and not the future, not anything but that this woman loves him, that she is his best friend and the only one who would give him so much of herself knowing that he didn't have anything to offer her back.

She lays on the bed and John looks down at her. Her eyes are filled with need. He's always protected her and in this moment he wonders if he should be protecting her from himself. He's never been a greedy man but he lets himself be greedy tonight.

He takes the comfort she offers as he brings his lips to hers once more. Now that they are both naked, their bodies move against each other sending erotic jolts through him. Never taking his lips off hers, he reaches into his bedside drawer for a condom and places it on the bed. His fingers slide into her, her wet heat surrounds him. She's filling up his senses. He's breathing and tasting and touching her all at once, hearing her moans filling his ears, and watching the expression on her face as she eyes close and she throws her head back on the pillow.

Later, she is fitted close into his arms. The room is dark and still cold. A comforter is pulled tight around them both. For a long time they don't say anything, but they don't fall asleep either. She runs her fingers up and down his arm, soothingly. As if she must keep doing whatever she can to let him know that he is not alone, and that he will never be alone as long as she is alive.

Finally he asks the only question that matters. Though he knows the answer, he still can't stop himself from asking. "Why'd you do this?"

"Because I love you."

He places a kiss on the base of her neck. "Mmmm. Figured you'd say that."

She turned over. Smiling, Blair asked "Of you did, huh? Have anything to say about it?"

"You know...this...you being here...I appreciate it. No one else could have gotten me through this night. Guess I made a good choice when I picked you as my best friend."

"Guess you did, John."

After a long minute of looking in her eyes, with the moonlight streaming over them, he said "I love you too. And tomorrow...don't you dare worry about anything changing between us, all right?"

"I know it won't. We're gonna always be best friends." She snuggled closer to him. "And anytime we need each other...we'll be there for each other. Now sleep, John. It's okay. I'm here with you."

He would have hated if anyone else had said that to him. But he didn't mind it coming from her. She knew him well enough to know just what he feeling, and just what he needed. John fell asleep with a his best friends in his arms.

Tomorrow he would mourn the woman he had lost. Tonight he would hold the woman he could never lose...no matter what happened. Blair belonged to him, more than any other man on earth, and because John belonged to her just as much she had been the only one he would let get this close. Close enough to hear his heartbeat and feel his tears. Close enough to love.

**THE END**


	15. Another Promise to Keep, Jess and Cris

Another Promise To Keep

November 2010

"Little brother, do you think you could smile just once tonight? Its my engagement party, man. Come on. Whatever it is, shake it off." Antonio looped an arm around Cris and led him to the bar at Rodi's. "Lets get your another drink."

"No, man, I'm good. I think I'm gonna take off."

"Cris-"

"Sorry." Cris hugged Antonio. "Congratulations. You found a wonderful woman. I love you, man."

"Love you too. And I hope whatever this is you get over it by the wedding. I need you there and happy for me."

"I'm happy for you. I just...got a headache tonight."

"Headache?" Antonio chuckled. "Its more than that and I'm gonna ask Mami about it in the morning. Maybe she knows what has my brother so low he has to look up to see the curb."

"Come on, man. I'm not that bad. I'm just tired, got a headache and I need to crash. It was a great party though. Call me in the morning and we can meet at the diner for some breakfast before you head home."

Antonio had brought his daughter and fiancee into town for the engagement party only. Cris hadn't thought that seeing Jessica back with Brody again tonight would hit him so hard but it had.

When Cris broke up with Layla over the summer he hadn't told anyone that it was all because he could not get thoughts of Jessica out of his head. Layla would hug him, kiss him, make love to him and in his head he would see, feel and hear Jessica instead.

It became unbearable. Once the engagement was over Layla went back to Philly to live with her Mom. Cris felt horrible for breaking her heart but his lie about not believing in marriage anymore seemed infinitely kinder than the truth. The truth was something only he should be burdened with. That's why he never told his family, friends and most definitely did not tell Jessica how his love for her was flaring back stronger and stronger.

Or maybe he didn't do it to be noble. Maybe he did it to be selfish as hell, though he hated to think that he'd sink so low. Because as long as Jess didn't know all Cris was feeling they could still hang out. He could still spend afternoons in the park with her and Bree. Still send Jess daily emails chatting about his life and get ones back all about hers. Still could have a drink with her when Brody was stuck working late. Play some pool. Laugh and joke.

It wasn't like he ever hit on her. He never would cross that line when she had a boyfriend. But then, a couple weeks back, she ended it with Brody. Cris thought he'd give Jess some time to heal and then ask her on a date. Maybe by Christmas he could be sharing his evenings with her and Bree. It was an image he kept it his head to make his days less lonely and his nights less hard.

Then tonight Jess let Brody bring her to this party.

And Cris's heart had dropped from his chest to the floor. He had been building up in his head all he could get back with Jess. All the new things they could have together. They weren't kids anymore and their old dreams were dead but she was still the one he couldn't stop falling in love with over and over again.

It had been so long since he had been able to hold her, as a lover does, to kiss her with all his love and passion, to make her promises he meant to keep.

(_I can only wonder_

_how touching you would make me feel_

_But if I take that chance right now_

_tomorrow would you want me still_

_Should I keep this too myself_

_and never let this show_

_I could fall in love with you_

_I could fall in love with you_) (Selena)

That was one thing he could say about him and Jess. He had made promises to others and walked away when it got too hard but back when he was with her he was desperate to always keep his promises and keep her safe and feeling loved. They broke apart because they grew up and life got too crazy, her disease got too real, and people came between them. They grew apart and move on. Back then it had been the right way to go. He never thought he'd turn around again and find himself in love with her for another time in his life.

Yet here he was, walking home through Angel Square, looking at a pair of teenagers holding hands and remembering when it was him and Jess. When he pushed her on that swing over there. When she would look at him and see the love of her life. When they both believed that with all their hearts.

Now he was a grown man and he was circling back to all those feelings again except they were different, deeper, richer and more involved. He wanted to love her as a man now, not a kid. But she had a man she loved.

And Cris had to respect that. He had to find a way to stop waiting around for Jess to be single again, to want him again, to feel love for him again. She loved Brody and Cris needed to get that reality sunk into his damn head before he drove himself crazy and before he messed up their friendship.

(_And I know its not right_

_and I guess I should try_

_to do what I should do_

_But I could fall in love with you_

_I could fall in love with you._

* * *

_Siempre estoy _

_sõando en tiBesando mis labios, _

_acariciando mi piel_

_Abrázandome con ansias locas_

_Imaginando que me amas_

_Como yo podía amar a tíSo _

* * *

_I should keep this to myself_

_And never let you know)_

Cris got home, took a shower and put on some pajama pants and a sleeveless t-shirt. He hadn't been lying to his brother. His head did hurt. He popped some aspirins and hoped it would cut some of the pain of his tension headache.

There was a knock on his door.

He lived alone now and most everyone of his friends and family were at Antonio's party so he couldn't figure out who would be at his door. He walked over looked through the peep hole and then opened the door.

"Jess, what are you doing here?"

She wore her pretty party dress and her hair was up in an elaborate style. Cris had stared at her so much tonight, from across the crowded room, that he knew every inch of that dress, the necklace she wore and earrings. He had to keep pulling his eyes off her over and over but they always drifted back eventually.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." He moved aside and she walked in. He closed the door again. "Why did you leave the party?"

"I had a talk with Antonio. He's worried about you."

"You know my brother. He's overprotective. I'm sorry he got you worried, Jess. I'm all right."

"Are you?"

The way she looked at him he could swear she could read his soul. Maybe that was just his the romantic artist in him he believed such things. He walked past her and toward the kitchen. "Yeah, I just wasn't in the mood for a party tonight." He opened the fridge. "Do you want something to drink? I got diet coke and diet tea, beer, and juice."

He turned to look at her and she was in his kitchen area. He closed the fridge. "Seriously, Jess, don't let Antonio get you as off track as he is. I'm okay. Go back to the party and have a good time with Brody."

"Antonio told me something and at first I thought he was all wrong but now..."

"What...what did he tell you?"

"That you're in love with me. That you want to be with me."

"I never said that. I don't know where he got that from."

"Maybe because he's a cop and he's good at reading people. Or maybe because he isn't living here anymore and now he can see things from an outsider's perceptive. He hasn't been going through all the things the rest of us have since I had that crazy break with reality and thought I was a teenager again. I know how much that messed with your head and I'm sorry. Maybe Antonio can see what the rest of us our blind to because we're so close to the situation. Or maybe he's all wrong. I don't know, Cris. But what I do know is as soon as Antonio said that to me all I wanted to do was come here and see you. I don't know why...okay yes I do."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted it to be true."

"Jess," he said heavily. He ran his hands through his hair and walked back to the living room. "You and Brody...you're having problems and it probably seems easier to come here to me. To escape that. But you got to go back to him, face that and work it out, whatever

way you two do. Whether you stay together or not it doesn't have a thing to do with me."

"Okay, I know that."

"Okay. Good."

"I guess I should go. Sorry for barging in here and bothering you."

"You didn't bother me. I'm sorry Antonio said anything to you."

Jess headed for the door but turned back around. "You didn't say he was wrong."

"What?"

"You said you didn't tell Antonio you are in love with me. But you didn't say he was wrong."

"Okay, he's wrong."

"Oh...its just that we have been spending so much time together. You, me and Bree and it feels...perfect. I know Bree thinks so too."

"You know how much I love Bree. I've always loved her because she's yours. But us hanging out is about friendship. I don't want to get in the middle of your relationship. You love Brody. You've been with him a while now and just because you're having problems doesn't mean its over."

"I broke up with him because I have feelings for you. I let him take me to the party tonight but it was a mistake. I guess that's why I was so excited when Antonio pulled me into the office and said what he did. I didn't think he was right...but I had to come here and find out for sure. I should have known better though. Cris, we have been through so much together and apart over the years. We can never go back to how we were as teenagers. I know that. I guess I need more work in therapy or something because that's all I can think about now."

"Going back to the way we were as teenagers?"

"I know we can never go back. We were young, naive and idealistic. I guess I just thought maybe there was a way left to go forward. Oh, God. I'm embarrassed now. I better get out of here."

Cris hurried to the door and trapped Jessica against it, by holding his hand to the door. "Wait, he whispered.

She turned around and their faces were mere inches apart.

He said "We can't go back but...there is nothing I want more than to go forward with you."

"But you said-"

"I lied. I'm sorry, Jess. I lied to you about not being in love with you again because I didn't want to complicate your life." He raised his hand and caressed her cheek.

Her eyes drifted close and she leaned into his caress.

"Jessica," he breathed out her name before capturing her lips in tender kiss.

When he pulled back both his hands were on her cheeks and their forwards rested together. Cris said "I was gonna kick my brother's ass for upsetting you but I think I'll buy him a beer instead."

Jessica chuckled. "He could see the obvious when none of the rest of us wanted to admit it because it makes things messy."

Cris stepped back. "Its okay if you're confused still. I get it and I don't want to make things harder on you so its all right if you want time to figure out you and Brody. In fact, I insist you take some time. You need to see this all with a clear head."

"Fine but I promise you that no matter how much time I take it will still lead me right back here."

"We'll see. I hope you're right."

They hugged. He kissed her forehead, cheek and then her lips before sending her home. Cris stood there alone and a saw smile came to his lips.

His headache was gone now. All the tension, pain and worry was gone. He could imagine a Christmas spent next month with Jess and Bree again. And this time it seemed within his grasp instead of a million miles, and dreams, away.

_(I could fall in love with you_

_I could fall in love with you_

_I could fall in love_

_I could fall in love with you_

_I could fall in love with you_)

THE END


	16. Where Do You Go, Jess and Cris

Note- I previously posted this story a while back but I am just moving it into my OLTL collective.

**Where Do You Go When You're Lonely?**

There is nothing like a kiss from your first love. There's something sweet and sexy and perfect about that man still wanting you after all these years. Jessica couldn't stop herself from nodding yes when Cris asked "Can I?", an eager little smile on her lips and butterflies doing a jig through her.

And when he held her face in his hands, pressing his mouth to hers in a kiss so filled with his heart that it left her shivering there was nothing else for Jess to do but give in to the weakness in her knees and sag against him. When their lips broke apart their foreheads leaned against each other.

"Wow," she murmured.

"Yeah, wow," he whispered back.

Still clutching him tightly she said "I guess that answers that. The spark is..."

"Alive and well," he finished her sentence.

"Yeah, you can say that again." Shaking slightly with the after effects of the most amazing kiss she had felt in years Jessica slowly moved back from Cristian. Her eyes locked on his, searching for answers to where they go next. "I should warn you, my life is such a mess. You think you know- Tess, Bess, Wes- but you don't know the half of it." Turning away from him she hugged her waist and said, sadly, "The chemistry is still their between us but I'm still who I've always been too. I'm still screwed up and I'm sick of dragging guys down because of something I can't control."

Turning back around she said "I don't want to drag you down."

He placed his fingers under her chin. "I know who you are. You can't scare me off. If you need to hear me say that I know what I'm getting into...with your disease, our pasts, the hurts we've caused each other and the messiness of your life having two kids now...then I'll say it: I know what I am getting into and I want to get into it. If you want that too?"

All she could do was nod happily and let him wrap her in another kiss. A kiss to take her breath away, leave goosebumps running down her spine, a kiss better than the kisses of their youth because now he kissed her as a man who knew how unique what they had was. It wasn't every day that two people shared a chemical connection that left their blood boiling every time their lips touched.

She let out a whimper when he pulled away, already missing the sweet heat of his lips against hers.

This time when they broke apart he took her hand and led her back to the bench, where they sat there holding hands and smiling at each other.

"I can't believe," Jessica said, happily, "you just came here today and said you want to try again."

"I know. Kinda crazy, huh?"

"Yeah, it came out of nowhere." She reached out, caressed his cheek, leaned close and then asked "So what happens next?"

"Lots and lots of dates, starting tonight."

She smiled widely. "Well, as a single mom you do have to give me some notice before dates but tonight I will make an exception just because you're kinda cute."

"Kinda?" he joked with her.

"I wouldn't want you to get a big head."

"With you on my arm, that is guaranteed to happen."

"This is..."

"Awesome?"

She nodded. "I feel hopeful and I haven't felt that way in months. I've been so pissed off over Brody and Natalie hooking up. And it wasn't just that one time, when they made a kid. They are still together. Can you believe that? How rude to throw that in my face, don't you think?"

"I think that it has to hurt you but if they really are in love, should they ignore that for your sake? Would that even be possible?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry for even bringing it up. Just thinking about it is depressing."

"You can talk to me about anything. I want you too. Come on, Jess, we've always been able to talk and that shouldn't change now just cause you have a baby daddy, an ex that is with your sister, and some personalities in a cage match inside of you."

She laughed. "That makes my life sound like a bad episode of some daytime talk show!"

He gave her a loving look. "Just to hear your laugh, it makes the trip over here and my stumbling over explaining why I came, all worth it."

"Oh, and those kisses weren't enough to make it worth it?" she teased. "Well, I'll just have to try and do better this time then." She slid close to him, wrapped her arms around him and started to kiss him again. Jess didn't want them to be just about sex this time around- hot kisses and steamy nights under the sheets- but there was no denying that she was already really looking forward to making love with Cristian again. Her whole body was throbbing for him after just a few breathless kisses.

Screaming that he could make her feel so good. There were plenty of reasons to push him away, because her life was a real mess right now, but there were reasons that she couldn't. It just felt too right, too important, made her tingle too much to have his attention like this again.

This was Cristian Vega- her first love, her true friend, her hero when they were teens, her Cris before he was anyone else's. And the idea of being his again was just too tempting to walk away from no matter how messy it might be to let herself fall into something new with him.

He was worth dealing with messiness. Cris and his kisses, his touch, his sweet brown eyes gazing into hers with love in them, was worth going through anything she had to in order to be his woman. Jess had a feeling being his woman was going to be even better than being his girl had been.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Jessica was practically walking on air when she walked into Capricorn that evening to meet Cris for their date. He had wanted to pick her up but she insisted she could drive herself and it would save them time, since he had to work tonight.

He was standing near the bar with his back to her, his cell phone at his ear. She waited till he ended the call and then snuck up behind him, covering his eyes with her hands. "I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count."

Cris turned around. The moment she saw his face she felt her heart sink.

Jess moved back. "You've changed your mind about the date, haven't you? That's okay, Cris. I get it. I really do."

Her skin flushed and she felt the slightest sheen of tears come to her eyes. Deciding it was stupid to feel this way when nothing had really happened between them yet, just a few amazing kisses, she tried to push down her feelings of disappointment and put on a brave smile, so he wouldn't feel bad about deciding they were better off as friends.

"No, I didn't change my mind," Cris said, solemnly. "I just think I asked you a little too soon, or too late depending on how you look at it, for a second chance."

"Why do you say that?"

"That," he raised his phone to indicate the call he was just on "was LU. They need me to teach a class for a teacher who got sick."

"Tonight? Oh. That's okay. Don't worry about it. We can do this another time, if you want."

"No, not tonight, Jess. For the rest of the semester and the class...its in Spain."

"Spain? You're going to Spain?"

"I could turn it down but they really need someone. The money would be great and the experience would be..."

"A chance of a lifetime. Sure, sure. Of course it would be. You should go, Cris. There's no question about it. You can't pass this up."

"There is a question about it." He leaned close to her.

Having him near, getting a whiff of his musky scent, sent her heart beat into overdrive. She nibbled her bottom lip as their eyes met and held each other's.

He asked "What about us? We just decided to try again. Can I really walk away from this once in a lifetime chance for us?"

Before she could say anything, he wrapped her in his arms and took her lips in a deep kiss, pressing her tight against him. She threaded her arms around him and got lost in his soulful kiss, feeling it down to her toes and left tingling when he finally released her lips.

"I can't go," he whispered, in a guttural tone filled with more than just lust.

"You can. I'll be here when you get back."

"Jess, no."

She could tell how much he wanted this opportunity to teach overseas but that he wanted her more.

"Cris, I don't get kissed like this every day. I wanted you when I was fifteen, I wanted you last year when I thought I was a teenager again, but none of that compares to how I want to be yours now. To be the woman you dream about when you're thousands of miles away from home and the woman you come home to when your job is done." She slipped out of his arms. "Go. I might be a mess but I'm your mess and I can wait. I promise you that I will be here waiting for you. Waiting to try again with you. You can trust me."

"Wow...you're pretty spectacular, do you know that?"

"Aw, shucks," she teased, which made them both laugh.

"Looks like I'm going to Spain. They want me there tommorow."

"Tommorow?" She gulped. "That's quick. I better let you go pack."

"Not yet. First," he motioned at the dance floor "we dance."

She let him take her hand and led her there. Later they went to his apartment and he did a nude painting of her, after they shared more kisses but stopped short of making love. As they lay in each other's arms he promised her "Just as soon as I get back here, you and I have will have the date we missed tonight."

"Lots and lots of date."

"Lots and lots," he agreed, taking her mouth in another kiss. There were still hours left till morning. Hours left to just be near each other. Hours left to build a new bond forged from an old love and friendship.

A bond that could carry them farther than any love had ever taken them before. There is no love like a first love.

THE END


	17. Be Mine, Joey and Kelly

**Be Mine  
Note- This fic was inspired by the Hunter Hayes song "Somebody's Heartbreak".  
Joey and Kelly  
February 1997**

"You have to buy me," he said to her, as they stood in the commons of Llanview University.

"Huh?" She arched one of her eyebrows and her eyes filled with confusion.

He handed her the flyer he was holding. Printed on red paper, it announced a Bachelor Auction for charity to be held on Valentines Day.

"I got talked into participating," Joey explained to Kelly. "It's for a good cause."

She chuckled. "Afraid to get purchased by someone hideous?"

"No, no, it's not that. It's just that I don't want someone to pick me because of my family name. Come on. Don't make me beg. I'll give you the money and all you gotta do is be the top bidder. Do me a solid?"

With a pretty smile curving her lips, she teased "You're taking all the surprise out of this and that's half the fun. I don't think I can be party to such deception. You know my high moral code and all."

He rolled his eyes. "Right. You weren't saying that when you were talking me into breaking into the country club to go skinny dipping."

"That was a blast! I can't believe you're still complaining about that."

"We almost got arrested. And for what? We could have swam at my parent's house or your aunt's, if we just waited until they went out."

"That would have defeated the whole purpose."

"It would have been legal."

"Exactly and thus boring!" She giggled and threaded her arm through his. "Walk me to my Chem Lab. That will give you more time to sell yourself to me. Why should I buy you, Joey Buchanan, when there are so many other hot options out there?"

She looked at a guy who was passing by, giving him a flirty smile.

After they walked a few more feet, Joey asked, in disbelief, whispering "That guy? You gotta be kidding me! Could his clothes be anymore wrinkled? He looks like he slept in them."

"Yeah, like he doesn't take life or himself too serious. I like that."

If she liked that sloppy, long haired, pot head looking dude would she ever take a second look at a stand up guy like Joey? He was a safe and reliable, from a good family, trust fund baby who didn't rock the boat.

Every since they met, when she moved to town two years before, she had made it her mission to get him to stop being such a stick in the mud and live a little. At first they were just two people in a larger group of friends but eventually they started to hang out more and more alone and now, he could honestly say, she was the best friend he had ever had.

But he wanted more.

No other women he knew could make his heart feel like it was swelling up in his chest, like Kelly could. No other women got him to commit petty crimes, dress in the outfit she picked for him for Halloween, spend all night talking on the phone till dawn, and pick her up for a week straight when her car was in the shop.

He had girlfriends before but he never felt anything close to what he felt when he was with Kelly. And he had slept with those girls. Now he knew that the difference was they had never really been his true friend, not like she was.

Was it wrong to lust after her? Sometimes he thought so. She trusted him and his motives and he loved that. He didn't want to make her feel weird or uncomfortable.

Though what he felt wasn't just simply lust and it felt more wrong to keep ignoring it than to let himself admit it. That is why it was important to him that she buy him at this auction. Then they would have a chance to go on a semi-real date with less pressure than if he came out and told her he was thinking of her that way.

Kelly was the type who got into the craziest, wrong for her, disaster from the start, love affairs. Dating her professor (even though he was engaged), dating a creep who ended up stalking her, dating an agoraphobic sex maniac who she met on a chat line. If it wasn't one odd loser she was interested in than it was another time after time. Joey had laughed at it when they met but now it didn't seem funny anymore.

Couldn't she see she deserved so much better? He would love her more than any of those guys ever had.

Standing in front of the building where Kelly had her next class, Joey looked down at her, "How about this? You buy me at the auction and the next time you suggest something completely insane for us to do I will go along without putting up any fuss. Deal?"

With her hands resting on his arms, she smiled up at him. "I guess I can help you out but I want it on record that I think you're sucking the excitement right out of this whole thing. The point is not knowing who you will end up with."

"I'd rather know it's gonna be you," he said, wondering if she realized just how deep those words went for him...probably not.

XXXXXXXX

Kelly had a great time bidding on Joey, waving around the credit card he had given her and outbidding all the other debutantes with Daddy's money who wanted him for themselves. She giggled at how uncomfortable he looked up on stage.

He really was the best guy...hell, best person...she knew. Back when she was in boarding school in Europe she hadn't had any true friends. Sure, she hung out with other girls but each and every last one of them seemed to be the type to quickly backstab a person and she learned to be just like them, a survival method in that poisonous environment.

Growing up without her parents around had left her damaged and she knew it. Joey wasn't like that at all. He had two wonderful parents and all the security in the world during his childhood and it showed in him now: he was a really good man.

She liked to tease him about being too uptight but really she loved that he was like that. It made her feel safe. He would never let her down, like so many other people had during her lifetime.

It felt good to do him a favor and buy him at this auction. Plus, it kept any other girl from getting her hands on him. Kelly was very protective of Joey. He was too great of a guy to hook up with the wrong girl and get hurt.

And his taste in women sucked so she had to protect him from letting that happen again. He always picked the wild ones who would use him, abuse him and leave him lonely. It would be better for him to stay single for life than be with another tramp like that.

Sometimes her cousins accused her of wanting Joey all for herself...and she could admit (if only to herself) that she did have a fantasy or two about him here or there...but she didn't want to risk their friendship by hitting on him, if he didn't feel the same about her. She could be happy as just friends, she told herself, and let herself bask in the comfort of his friendship.

Even if she pushed the limits now and then- like the skinny dipping incident or when she licked ice cream off his finger. But she only skirted the edges of flirting with him, never letting it go so far that she might chase him away.

He made her happy, made her smile and laugh, was always there for a shoulder to lean on with strong arms to hug her. That was worth everything. She doubted he knew all he meant to her but that was okay, as long as he stayed her best friend forever.

After the auction was over she found him backstage and he gave her a huge, relieved smile. "Thank you!"

She handed him back the credit card. "I did the easy part. You're the one who has to explain the five thousand dollar charge to your folks."

"Mom is always saying that we should do more community service so I'm sure she will approve."

Looking around at the beefcake men backstage, she said "Community service has never been so much fun before."

"It got dicey there for a moment. I thought you were gonna let me be sold to someone else."

"Bite your tongue. I would never."

His smile only grew as he pretended to wipe sweat from his brow. "Color me so very grateful for that."

"Anytime, buddy."

Coughing a little, his smile slid away. "So what do you want to do for our date? Ladies choice."

"Strip poker?"

He laughed. "That isn't a date; that is a drunken Friday night. And why does naked equal fun to you? Something you wanna share with the rest of the class? Secret exhibitionist?"

Slapping his chest, she laughed. "Not hardly. I was just joking. How about dinner at the club?"

"Now who is being boring? I think we can do better than dinner at the club."

"Then you pick."

After thinking for a moment, he said "I have the perfect place in mind. Dress comfy but pack something dressy."

"Pack? Is this a date or a weekend away? Didn't I buy you just for a night?"

"I believe in giving my dates the full experience and for that it will take a little traveling."

"To where? Philly? New York?"

"Now who is trying to suck the fun out of an experience? My lips are sealed. The surprise is gonna be the best part, trust me."

And she did. When they ended up in Paris together, he was right, the surprise was the best part. She had been to the city before but somehow it became magical with Joey on her arm. They had dinner at a five star restaurant and took a walk, holding hands, till they made it to a fountain.

Her smile never slipped off her lips all night. Sighing happily, she looked up at him "Why can't I date a guy like you? It's pathetic but this is the most romantic night of my life and it's not even supposed to be romantic. Don't laugh at me."

"Who's laughing?"

"Thank you, Joey. This was out of the world. I would have used my own money to buy you if I knew this is how you treat your dates. The next guy I date is gonna have a high standard to meet after tonight."

A long moment passed while he starred into her eyes before he whispered "Maybe that next guy should be the guy standing in front of you right now."

"You?" she asked, in surprise, her eyes lighting up.

"Would that be so crazy?"

"No, I just...didn't think...you saw me that way."

"Could you see me that way?"

"Could I? I already do, you dummy! Why do you think I chase off every girl who tries to get near you?"

"You what? Since when?"

"Let's not fight."

"I'm not fighting...forget it." His smile grew warmer as he gently took her into his arms. "Where were we? I think we were both saying that this date shouldn't be our last."

Laying her head against his heart, she hugged him back. "Mmm-hhhhmmm. This is the best first date ever."

He lifted her chin with his finger. "First of many, Kel."

And then he bent his head and captured her lips in their first kiss...the first of many, he was sure.

THE END


End file.
